PIRATE WATCH

As most of you know, pirate activity of late has been on the rise. A threat that we had once thought dead back in the 19th Century has now reared its ugly head and again shown its true face. As a public service, I will keep you guys abreast of the top 3 pirate threats to watch out for in these uncertain times.

1. The Somali Pirates

These guys are the big honchos. They terrorize the seas, and for good reason. Armed with AK-47s and RPGs these masters of the sea have taken an oil tanker, Soviet tanks and small arms, as well as a chemical shipment. These guys play for keeps, and especially with 4 navies looking for them, it’s kind of hard not to admire their tenacity at assaulting tankers with speedboats and their mythical “mothership”. Extremely dangerous.

2. Porn Pirates

http://torrentfreak.com/hustler-hires-media-protector-to-chase-porn-pirates-090103/

As you can see Hustler is seeing a large portion of its profits go down the tubes due to p2p sharing. They’ve actually hired people to try to hunt these guys down. This of course, is on the heels of Larry Flynt and Joe Francis asking for a $3 billion dollar bailout of the porn industry. Ludicrous. With the advent of webcams you have to ask if the “industry” is really needed. But yes, for this gem of a news article, Porn Pirates get the #2 spot.

3. Pirates of the Carribean 4: The Movie

Listen, I think we can all agree that the first Pirates of the Carribean movie was the best one. Comedy, action, Keira Knightley in a corset, everybody wins. The sequels were predictable, as for the quality, well, whatever. However, what’s most disturbing is that Disney is making a Pirates of the Carribean 4, with Zac Efron attached to star. While this will be a huge money maker due to the huge legions of teenage girls and gay men now going to see the movie, the threat of this going south is very very apparent.

That’s it for this edition. Remember pirates are the enemy.